When December approaches, many people think about Christmas, of course. In recent years, we can see Christmas decorations and food in shops, supermarkets, and online as early as September. Even if you don’t like it or don’t celebrate Christmas, it’s everywhere; people talk about it at work or outside of it, it’s on the TV including films, series or adverts, you find adverts online, and so on. Even for people who like it, it can feel stressful and anxiety-provoking.


🎁 Managing Gift Pressure and Budgets Probably the number one anxiety and stress-provoking activity is buying presents for family members, friends, colleagues, or participating in Secret Santa. Many people feel pressurised to buy expensive gifts for each other, and when having children around, feel the need to buy as many as possible. Buying gifts can be a way to express our love, there is no doubt. However, it’s not the only way and doesn’t mean that we have to spend a fortune on these things.

This is also important if we—and this is probably true for the majority of us—work with a budget and don’t have an unlimited amount of money. Put it simply, we can make a list of people we need to buy gifts for, we need to know our budget, and plan accordingly. In recent years, several people/families have started to have a tight budget on gifts and having a threshold limit. This can be something small and representative such as £10, or anything that you all agree with.


🛒 Mindful Consumption: Shopping with Intent Shopping can include the food shop, getting ready and prepared for parties, family gatherings, and home, and of course, we want to feel like well-prepared hosts. Shopping can also be something we do in the heat of the moment, as the majority of shops and supermarkets have Christmas departments or related items.

If you want to spend money, you can easily do this. It’s important to consider whether you really need that extra cake, bottle of expensive alcohol, or decoration for the living room you don’t even have the room for.


👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Navigating Family Gatherings and dynamics For plenty of people, seeing family or certain family members can cause stress and anxiety. Families are complicated and complex. Sometimes we only see certain people once or twice a year, and this normally includes Christmas.

If things feel heavy and we are not so much looking forward to the event, we can try to have a preparation plan before we attend the big family dinner. This can include considering our needs before we go, having an escape plan, considering our boundaries, how to communicate these, and what the consequences are if someone crosses them. For example, we might attend the event, but only stay for 3 hours, and we state this beforehand. With this, we have stayed, engaged, spent time together, not too much to become overwhelmed, and we know how to leave and why. This would represent our boundaries too.


✋ Establishing and Defending Your Boundaries Everybody has an opinion (or two), people comment and often judge. However, we don’t have to accept everything from everybody. An aunty comments on our weight every single time we meet. Nan says eat more, or try this or that food, and it’s difficult to say no. Family members and friends drink alcohol, but we don’t really want to but feel obligated to do so.

Boundary setting is also about believing it’s okay to say no or express our views/thoughts/feelings in a civil and polite way. It’s not the end of the world; people will still love us and can accept us. If not, that can be another topic and conversation, considering what it really means when someone cannot accept something that is important for us or to our well-being. So try to practice that; if you’re full and no longer hungry, say no thank you, say if you don’t want to drink (more), ask your aunty not to bring up the weight topic because it makes you feel uneasy, and so on.


🖼️ The Magic of 'Good Enough': Ditching Perfection Many people have an image of the perfect Christmas. It can come from childhood, when ideally we still had the magic and we can remember things as shiny, perfect, and nostalgic. In reality, nothing is perfect, and more importantly, it doesn't have to be. Aim for 'good enough,' not perfection.

It’s more important how we want to spend our time. This could mean spending time with loved ones and doing activities together, or being alone, volunteering in a community, or in that case, if you don’t celebrate it, it’s absolutely fine too. We can ask for help when it comes to household chores or shopping. Others are not mindreaders, so don’t assume people know what’s happening and what we need. Say it, tell them, ask them.

More often than not, I hear people saying how busy they are throughout December. This often includes the bank holidays as well. This busyness is sometimes nice and pleasant, if you enjoy social gatherings, parties, and the buzz. Other times, it puts extra pressure on us—pressure to attend events, accept invitations, engage with family and friends, and spend more money.

This pressure and stress can be huge, causing extra anxiety and worry, stemming from others and ourselves. This is often compounded by financial worries—whether it’s the pressure to spend more on gifts, the cost of socialising, or dealing with the existing cost-of-living crisis and unexpected expenses. Even though you normally look after yourself and your needs, perhaps self-care is more limited in December, and you can quickly run out of time and energy.

If this sounds like you, please know that your feelings are valid and you are not alone. For this reason, Christmas can feel too much even before it arrives. For many people, the bank holiday periods include nothing but extra duties and chores, even though they might have some time off from work. Activities include family visits, cooking, baking, and cleaning, as well as travelling either within or outside of the UK. Therefore, self-care is more important than ever.

Here are a few ways we can proactively protect our well-being this month.


📅 Include Yourself in Your Diary/Calendar - Prioritzed self-care

Whether you use an app, your phone, or a traditional paper-based to-do list, make sure you put yourself into the list. We are the most important assets in our lives; if we can’t function well, nothing in our lives will function well either.

Block time for basic things such as lunch, a nice long bath, watching a film or series you like or wanted to see, exercise, or going for a walk. Anything that feels relevant for you as self-care and can help you to recharge your batteries.


🎁 Have Your Own Christmas Present

Think of yourself! It doesn’t have to be huge or expensive. It can be an 'experience', like having a cup of coffee and cake at a local café, a massage that would relax you or something physical like a book you wanted for a long time or a new candle. Something that would make you more content—a present from yourself to yourself.


🛡️ Protect Your Time and Energy

Boundaries and saying no are more important than ever. We cannot do everything all the time or please everyone. Sometimes we need to say no to people, things, work, or ourselves. You cannot pour from an empty cup.

If needed, prepare your days, weeks, or weekends. A rough plan is enough to see what you can physically—and mentally—do, and what feels too much. Sometimes we cannot avoid doing the 'thing' we dread (or ‘have to’), but in that case, make sure you have some dedicated time for yourself and rest afterwards or between.


🧘 Create calm & be present This can feel like a challenge. On a to-do list, other people and things like work can be in first, second, or even third place. But what about you? When running out of energy, or being too stressed, it feels more difficult to be present or calm, as we might constantly plan what’s next. This means we are living in the future, planning something that will happen and not fully living in the moment. This can be a loss for us; we end up not enjoying family time or being with a friend, not focusing on the film or book, but instead rushing everything and everywhere. Find your moments in activities you normally enjoy and can do. Focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t. Be present with your friends, partner, pet, or kids, and truly focus on the chat or activity. Have some quiet moments or simply allow yourself to be yourself when you do what you need or want.


🤫 A Note for Introverts This season can be particularly challenging for introverted people. There are expectations to attend parties and meetings, whether it’s a Christmas-do or a family gathering. There is noise, light, and a constant buzz, and it can be too much at times.

I see many people fully booked with social gatherings throughout December. I see people feeling this is too much, running on low energy, not having enough sleep, or drinking too much alcohol. If you are an introvert like myself, you need more energy on your own with your own thoughts and activities, enjoying some quiet moments.

Even if it means saying no to some things, prioritising this time for yourself can be incredibly important and beneficial. This time with yourself can mean a short period of time; we don't need to think of several hours!


Remember: Self-care is not selfish; it is preventative care. By looking after yourself first, you ensure you have the emotional capacity to truly enjoy and engage with the things and people that matter most this festive season.